I won't apologize
by BellaCam
Summary: We all know the story of Poppy in Abbey Mount ...but what about when she's an adult and that her love life gets complicated ? Will little miss California handle her love life ? rated Mature because I paranoïd
1. Prologue

When she first set foot in Abbey Mount she thought it was hell on earth , with no shopping center near , not a single place where your cell phone work...she was one of those superficial blonds. Poppy Moore from America ...sent away because of her attitude. The only solution left was the boarding school ...which pays off. So many times she tried to get expelled...nothing helped she was stuck here. That was until we decided to give her our help. We got closer , and we got to know her better ...in the end she wasn't that bad , she was just a girl who was homesick and tried desperately to be herself around girls who were hundred percent different from her. We didn't really want to let her leave ...but that was what she wants. Operation Freddy was then beginning , Freddy was the son of the principal ...he was STRICTLY and HIGHLY defended to students...Poppy just had to date him to get expelled ...but that wasn't that simple. Poppy revealed to truly LIKE Freddy...but that's the story you know ...what about the story of Poppy at 23 ?


	2. Chapter 1 : Back then

Summer was about to begin , but as Poppy noticed it , here in England summer was way more colder than Californian's summer. Her belly was so round she could barely see her feet , when she heard people on talk shows or at school talking about the percentage of teen moms in the world ...she'd never thought she'd be one of those girls. Poppy Moore , invincible , perfect little miss California couldn't be a pregnant woman ..she wasn't even a woman yet ! She couldn't take care of herself properly, she couldn't possibly take care of a baby ! Poppy turned around , looking at her reflection in the mirror ...how was she suppose to look good on graduation pictures with that stomach ? She put on her graduation gown of a silky burgundy , at least hide behind this mass of silk her belly seem less round.

- Poppy you coming out soon ? ask Kate

- uh...yeah ...I'll be ready in a couple of minute ...

Sitting on her bed she sigh , everything should have been perfect on graduation ...not for her it seems .Poppy put her face in her hands ...everything was perfect until that night...she couldn't be mad ...it wasn't his fault. Kate enter in the room in a whirlwind and saw her friend on her bed face in her hands ...

- Poppy ...

- I'm hideous ...I can't get out...

- Your not hideous ...your only pregnant ...

- I feel ugly ...

- come here

Poppy snuggle against Kate , both girls were silent. Only the sounds of a few students in the hallway resonate in the lonely room. Kate softly stroke Poppy's messy hair. She was wondering ...since Freddy and Poppy agreed to be only friends after the young girl accidentally set fire to the school's kitchen ...who was Poppy's child dad ? She knew for a fact that as a pretty girl Poppy had few dates with boys of town. More she thought about it ...more curious she was...Freddy didn't come to Abbey Mont anymore...he came for Christmas , Easter and March Break...who could it be ?

Help me Kate ...please ...

Anything Darling...

I have to tell my Dad ...about my situation

Poppy ! You are over seven months pregnant! You haven't told anything to your family yet !

I tried ! ...I tried but every time I failed I was so afraid ...

what about Molly she must know ...

Poppy thought about how her sister Molly would react...Poppy shook her head from left to right.

They at least know the father of your child ? do they ?

they don't ...please help me Kate ! I'm begging you !

Fine ...but we have to catch up with the others before ...if you want to graduate

Poppy took a lock of her hair , she couldn't get out looking like she haven't sleep for centuries. Kate who understood took her friend hands and help her to sit on the edge of the bed. Kate who wasn't a professional hair dresser , tried her best to make that bun look graceful. The result wasn't bad , in fact it was stunning the face of Poppy looked a bit pale but she was magnificent.

What would I do without you ? muttered Poppy

Don't mention it , come on ! We're gone a be late !

The graduation was set in the court yard , parents were sitting in some black plastic chair , some waiters were serving Champaign in black and white tuxedo. Poppy felt her heart stopped when she saw her family stand in the crowd. Josie , Drippy and Kiki were chatting with other girls who were actually graduating. Poppy and Kate walked toward them feeling both the stress of ending high school. Josie let a high pitched scream when she saw Poppy.

Girl ! you look brilliant ! Josie almost screamed

...yeah ..thanks to Kate

Look who's there ...whisper Kiki

Prince Charming itself ! laugh Kate

Everyone seems to laugh , except Poppy ...she didn't want him to see her like that. Freddy Kingsley was standing right in front of her , he was turning back to her but she was absolutely , hundred percent sure it was him. He was there in all his beauty , his blond hair always scattered in his face , his green eyes glimmering . Poppy felt another stress factor on her shoulders , not only was her family here ...and they were going to see her with that huge stomach of pregnant lady...now Freddy has to show up. The young girl of seventeen just wanted to hide , she look pleadingly at her friends , imploring them to keep him away.

What's wrong Poppy he use to be your friend ...says Drippy

he his ...but , I just don't want him to see "this" Poppy say showing her round belly.

what's the problem with "This" ask Drippy doing the same move around her belly

I don't want him to think I'm a whore ...

Why would I think anyone's a whore ? ask a masculine voice

Poppy froze when the sound of this voice got to her ears , Freddy was standing just there couples of millimetres away from her. She shut her mouth , and look to the ground avoiding Freddy's glance. She knew deep down he must be thinking she was a "Californian chick" who got every guy she wants her bed...the truth was she was really shy when it comes to deep relationship like those.

Hi ...it's been a while whisper Freddy

almost a year ...smile Poppy , hiding the tears of shame in her eyes

you...you are ...

yeah I noticed it ...whisper Poppy her right hand automatically got to her round belly.


	3. Author's note

Hey guys

I know how boring are authors notes but I just wanted to say thank you to read me !

I actually am not English so if there is any mistakes or sentence that are weird just tell me I'd like to know!

Reviews please (god you must hear that often)

Next chapter soon promise !

CamBella -


	4. chapter 2: Soon

Poppy was trying to convince her six year old son to go to bed. Zackary Moore was a trouble maker , and her mother knew he wasn't intending on going to bed . The little boy ran in the apartment laughing and singing childish songs , Poppy was exhausted it was the same thing each night. When she finally was able to make her sun go to bed , she sat on the edge of it and watch him sleep. He was so angelic when he want to ...Never would she thought that raise a child by her own would have been so hard ...but she couldn't imagine living without her precious Zackary anymore. His thin curly blond hair were so soft , she stretch her arm to stroke the boy's hair. When the phone rang into the whole apartment, Poppy gasp surprise to be interrupt in her thinking. She walk slowly to the phone and saw the name : Jennifer Logan ...Drippy.

Hey Drippy

Hi Darling !

so why you calling ? I guess there is something important ? A guy perhaps ?

Wish it was ...but no ...I just bought a house !

I wish I was there Drippy ...really ! Is it awesome ?

Of course it is ! you know me , I wouldn't live in an ugly place !

I missed you guys ...Poppy sigh

yeah I miss you too , you know

Maybe I'll come see this house soon ...

I hope so ! Talking of my house , I was calling because I really don't know whether I should paint the walls of my living room Blue , or a light gray ...what do you think ?

So that's the reason why you call me , just so you remember California's across the ocean , and you call for paint ?

It's a major problem!

You didn't change at all ...think I should go I have work to do ...call you later ?

yeah of course

and go with the blue Drippy

Thanks ! Good night

thanks.

The warm feeling in Poppy's heart faded when she hang the phone off , to hear that voice was reassuring ...she wish she would have been there with her helping her with her boxes . Sitting on her couch with her laptop she open a word document , but no word came out ...she didn't knew what to write and her article was suppose to be in the next edition of People who was suppose to be in every shops and mall in three days. She open her e-mail inbox , she had a new e-mail from Kate.

Dear Poppy ,

How are you doing ? It's been a while since I saw you and Zackary , hope your both happy and well. Me and Thomas are just so happy with our lives right now ...guess what? I'm getting married! Yes me! I'll be married in four months ...I'd like to see you there Poppy , and this time please don't say you have too much work...I'll get married once in my life , and you'll have thousand articles in your life ...well anyway I started to look for a dress but without you they just all look fade . I would have loved to tell you my big news in person but for the moment I can't ...will you visit soon ? Wonder how's my nephew ? is he handsome ? forget that I know he his ! gosh already six ...have to go ...please , please call me Poppy ...and visit but that's facultative ...

Kate

Love X0X

Poppy's heartfelt heavy , seems like everyone was happy and in love ...everyone but her. It's true that a little visit for Kate's marriage would have been great...more she thought about it more she felt like calling her boss to say she was heading to England. Her cell phone burning in her skinny's pocket. She grabbed it looking at the yellow light of her cell phone screen. She didn't know if it was a good idea ...what if it wasn't ? What if **he** was there ? After a couple of minute of arguing with herself she composed her boss's number.

Hi ...it's Poppy...can...can I talk to you for a sec

of course what can I help you with ?

I ...I was thinking about ...going in England with my son ...if that's ok with you I mean

oh...ok well you could report on ahem That new kid star over there ...Jessica Clermont ? I think ...

oh right ok ...

Poppy didn't have a clue about who was that girl he just named , but she just pretend she understood. As soon as she hang off her phone she sigh in happiness and almost jump in awe. She wrote a short e-mail to Kate and bought two tickets for England. She was just so happy ...it has been years since she saw herself this much happy and enjoy. She was literally dancing in her living room and singing Price Tag from Jessie-j.

Dear Kate

seems like time has come for me to come see you !

I'm at the moment buying some tickets for England !

Can you believe it ? we'll be together again ! like when we were in Abbey mount !

Little Zackary will be so happy to see you again

I'm bursting of bliss right now ! ...glad I'm alone

I'm coming Kate ! I'll be there at your marriage ! Oh how I missed you ! Happily I'll see you soon

Poppy


	5. Chapter 5 Finally back

The plane was luxurious , and a little classic music filled Poppy's ears . She could saw the gray and wild waves below her , in a way it fright her ...but in the other way she couldn't help but being amazed , and no matter how many times she took the plane before , it was always the same. Zackary was sleeping hard on her lap , a business woman talking on her cell phone with a bored face who couldn't annoy Poppy more. Zackary slowly open his hazel eyes and yawn stretching.

Hey sweetie Poppy whispers feeling all loving and in awe with that little tired face

Hi Mommy .

This little high-pitched voice just knew how to make her smile every time. The business woman annoys by their little conversation left her seat and walked to the bathroom , her cell phone in the pocket of her jacket resting on her seat. Poppy felt her eyelids close by them self , she was trying to focus on the black and white movie that was playing ...but the truth was she didn't really get why the principal character was so emotional. Slowly she falls asleep, leaving the movie to its drama, her cheek upon her hand. Zackary feeling bored looked at her mom sleep , hoping she's wake up to entertain him, but nothing ...she was sleeping like baby and wasn't ready to wake up. When a little buzz caught Zackary's attention , he turn towards the cell phone of the business woman ...left alone in the pocket of her leather jacket. The little boy was fascinated by that little thing ...oh how he wish he could stretch his arm and take it in his hands, but he would be grounded by his mom if he was caught. With his adventurous child mind he took the phone and open it.

Hello ? ask a voice

Hi I'm Zackary , and I'm six

Hi Zackary ...is Clara's near you ?

I don't know who's Clara ...is she the woman who owns this phone ?

yes indeed she is ...

well she's at the bethroom I think ...

I think it's Bathroom little buddy

maybe ...what's your name ?

Patrick ...hum ...you know I'll call later ...

Can you and I be friends?

Zackary noticed a shadow behind him , he was kind of afraid it could be his mom . Turning slowly to peek a glance at the shadow he froze ...Clara ..the woman who owns the phone. She looked deadly angry , she took roughly the phone from the kids hands and wake Poppy up , shaking her brutally. Poppy looked at the woman's face who was three different shades of red at the time .

Watch your son! he was talking on MY phone!

Oh ...oh I'm ..I'm so terribly sorry ...she just couldn't help but laugh that kid was just so sweet but in all kind of trouble.

Yeah better be !

Zackary with that smile she knew too well sigh and took her son's hand to help him sit on his seat. Poppy didn't knew what to do ...she never was a trouble child ...well until her teens. Rubbing her forehead she looked at the smiling face of the little blond boy sitting next to her. Suddenly it hit her ...maybe his dad was this much of a trouble maker. That thought troubled her ...it was the first time she even thought about Zackary's dad in years. When they arrived at the airport Poppy just couldn't help but look for Drippy and Kate who promise to come get her.

Patrick and I are friends now! smile the little boy

Patrick ...sigh Poppy a smile on her face ...that boy was full of surprise she tought.

Taking Zackary's hand she looked around hoping to see almost white curly blond hair.

POPPY !

the last thing she knew was that a huge masse of blond hair jumped on her to squeeze her hard against her. She was truly back ...

Oh my god ! So many years I haven't seen you ! Drippy cried

I know !

It's so good to see you again ! I thought we'd never see each other again

aren't you a bit dramatic ? ask Kate

Just the girl I wanted to see Poppy sigh hugging her friend

Look at him ! says sweetly Kate looking at Zackary who was blushing to being in the middle of those women

he's so sweet ! I could totally kiss him ! says Drippy over reacting again

You know what Poppy ...whispers Kate

More and more she looked at the little blond boy ...and more she thought he looked like...

What ? ask Poppy afraid

he look like Freddy


	6. Chapter 6: The only thing left

Poppy woke up in silky sheets; sun was peeking through the curtains of her room. Last night when she arrived in England Drippy forced her to her house; she wouldn't even consider Poppy renting a room in a hotel nearby. Poppy accepted shyly to live with Drippy for as long as she'd stay in England. The house her friend bought was enormous! It was all modern and so beautiful; it was like walking in a house from a Decoration magazine. The young woman stretched and got out of bed lazily, she felt at home and the thought brought a smile to her lips. Zackary was nowhere to be seen and Poppy felt a bit scared, she didn't like no knowing where her son was, he was so often in trouble. She rushed down the stairs looking around worriedly; the blond boy was sitting at the kitchen table eating Cheerios, milk dripping down his chin, his eyes glimmering with mischief. The young mother sighs in relief before dropping next to her son.

Had a good of sleep Zack ? She asked stroking the silky curls on his neck

Uh-uh

It felt like a dream, she was finally happy. She had the urge to hug the frail body of Zack against her. Drippy entered the room with a sleepy pout on her face. The expression on her face was so funny, her eyes half closed and her mouth pouting, she almost looked like she was sulking.

Good morning Drippy. Poppy smiled

Yeah...you too.

Poppy watched her friend make her way in the kitchen, serving herself a bowl of cereal and sitting on the counter.

So what are we doing today? Asked Poppy excited

Well...Kate is having a fitting today, she wanted you to be there.

That sounds great! she smiled

It's good to have you back you know...

I'm finally at home. The Californian told Drippy shyly

Poppy hurried to her room and tried thousands of outfit, throwing clothes on the floor, before dropping on her bed, desperate. Zackary was staring at his mother from the doorframe, his little face confused.

I have nothing to wear! The young woman moaned

What are you doing mommy? Zackary asked coking his head to the side

Trying to get dress...

Do you need help? The boy asked with an innocent smile

No I don't honey

Poppy laughed softly before picking her clothes and scanning all item of clothing with a fierce eye. She brought almost everything she had in her closet; there must certainly be something she could wear! She decided to go with a light blue dress and a leather coat she loved very much. She looked at her reflection in the mirror, analyzing everything. Hair? Perfect curls. Dress? No wrinkle. Shoes? Shining just perfectly. Makeup? Subtle but feminine. She sighs in happiness declaring herself ready to go. She and Drippy drove to the wedding dress store listening to Madonna's songs singing along with a confused little boy in the backseat wondering what had gotten into his mother. She definitely missed being with her friends, not that she wasn't happy in the States...it's just she felt so alone at sometimes. They parked the car, and a wave of excitement rushed over Poppy, her best friend would get married in less than a week! And she was going to be there for her! With those thoughts she almost ran to the little store.

Can you believe it Drippy? Kate is going to be married! She is going to unite her soul to that of a man she truly loves ...she'll be happy ever after. Poppy said her voice cheery and soft

They are such a beautiful couple too! Drippy sighed

The girls pushed the door and enter the wedding dress shop followed by Zackary whose eyes were shining with curiosity. Kate was sitting patiently on a white leather couch, with fluffy pink cushions, she almost seemed nervous. The moment she saw Poppy and Drippy she got up and smoothed her skirt before hugging them both.

What took you so long? I was afraid you weren't going to show up! Kate said her voice showing clearly the stress she couldn't contain.

Missy here had a fashion emergency! Laughed Drippy

Well I wanted to look good no shame in that! Poppy defended herself

You always look good Poppy! Kate sigh with a big smile

A small lady approached them frowning; she was holding a notebook in her hands. Her glasses were so thick you could barely see her eyes.

Who's Mrs. Graham? Asked the lady

That would be me ...Kate said nervously

Would you please follow me?

Oh yeah of course.

She disappeared in a changing room, and left Poppy and Drippy sitting on the very couch she was sitting on waiting for them. A plate with little lemon cupcakes was resting on a wooden table next to their couch, a lady in a couch next theirs was engulfing them one after the other. Poppy was staring at her stunned wondering how she could manage to do it without breathing between each cake. It had been so long since she haven't spent moments like this with Drippy and Kate, it made her feel happy and were she belonged. A small noise made them look up to meet the eyes of Kate, full of joy and questions.

Oh you are so beautiful ! Poppy whispered.

The dress was narrowed at Kate's waist and the skirt was mix of veil and silk , every movement made the dress glimmer under the light. The back of the dress was carefully sewed with lace and pearls. Kate looked stunning in this all too perfect gown. It wasn't too princess like but it was glamour enough to be Kate's. Poppy's best friend twirled happy and the dress looked like a kaleidoscope, with all the reflects and glitters.

This dress is perfect. Drippy sighed in awe.

Don't you think! Kate beamed

Emotions flooded Poppy so intensely; it was as if she realized she was really there with her friends. It was all too perfect too be true. Of course as she was thinking everything was perfect something was bound to happen, the same lady with the enormous glasses walked toward them with a guilty looking Zackary. He was trying hard to escape the lady's grip.

Who's kid is it ? She asked rather harshly

It's my son. Poppy said calmly

Would you care to watch him? He was peeking through the changing rooms and hiding under the displayed dresses!

I will keep him close don't worry. Poppy promised the hint of a smile on her lips

Kate and Drippy were giggling behind the lady's back while Poppy trapped her son in her arms kissing his forehead.

Don't do that again baby boy, it's not right.

I promise Mommy, but don't let the mean lady come close! He said hiding his face in Poppy's hair

Poppy...Kate asked carefully

Yes ?

It's Freddy's son isn't it ?

Poppy couldn't face her friends; she had struggled to keep it a secret since she learned she was pregnant...she didn't want to lie to Drippy and Kate, and truth was she had no good reason to do so.

How did you know? Was all she heard herself answer

He acts like him and he is the miniature version of him. Kate softly admit

It's the only thing that's left of him in my life...Poppy whispered sadly

Does he even know it? Drippy asked

Of course he doesn't! Poppy said laughing bitterly

She looked at the small boy cuddling on her lap, she remembered all too clearly the night her and Freddy had "conceived" him. No matter how hard she tried to forget what happened that night...it was inked in her very being.


	7. Chapter 7: One night with him

**I know, I know ! I have not uploaded in forever I am sorry :S I had an author's block for a long while and yesterday it just...disappeared?! SO a new chapter for you guys :) I want to apologize for any mistake there might be, and...enjoy :)**

*** Warning: Contains lemon, don't like don't read. I do believe though you don't need this chapter to understand the story. **

She sat silently in the car, her eyes scanning the landscape without really seeing it. She had struggled to keep this "incident" locked in her, now that it was out in the open she felt so vulnerable and so breakable. Drippy had stared at her the whole time, her gaze clearly worried and sad, but sad about what? About the pathetic story Poppy's been hiding from them? Or was it because she didn't admit Zack to be Freddy's son sooner? She felt like she had disappointed them, like she had betrayed them by not sharing the biggest night of her life with them, her best friends. The music playing on the radio didn't reach her ears, she felt like she was slipping in a far off land. She sighed deeply; things would have been way easier if she had simply told them when she first learnt she was pregnant. The silence was thick and uncomfortable, as if words were floating around them; everything they didn't dare say was floating around them unspoken. Poppy pressed her cheek on the cool surface of the window, she barely acknowledge the fact that Kate had pulled up in Drippy's driveway. They stayed in the car not bothering with getting out.

- Poppy if you don't tell us what happened...I'll coax it out of you. Kate said her tone strangely soft

- I really would like it if you didn't ask that much of me. She whispered

- Poppy...Drippy said her voice sharp. We want to help...we want to make you feel a little better...we're not going to judge you, you know that right?

- It's just painful to think of this night...She sighed trying to smile at her friends.

- Please Poppy...if we can help, we'll gladly do so...but you need to open to us a little. Kate said

Defeated Poppy nodded, she opened the car's door and rushed outside. She feared she wouldn't be able to tell them, feared she wouldn't be able to go over the details for they _still_ hurt her. Zack on her heels she followed Kate and Drippy inside the house. She inhaled sharply trying to find a little courage, she hated being scared of talking to her friends, out of the whole world population weren't they the only one she could trust with this matter? She slowly made her way to the kitchen where she knew Kate and Drippy to be waiting for her, waiting for a story she still doubted she could tell them. They were both sat at the kitchen table, their gaze focused on her with expectations she could only hope to fulfill.

- You are sure you want to hear about it? It's not a happy story...Poppy said in a tone barely above a whisper.

- Yes. Was all she received for answer.

_That night she was sitting on the windowsill, her eyes closed the chill of November making her shiver. She felt homesick at the thought of leaving Abbey Mount, this place had grown to be her home, the one place she truly felt was meant to be called home. In the early hours of the night, she sat on the windowsill, thinking that if she was given a choice, she'd gladly stay here. Then of course thoughts of Freddy filled her mind, somehow after the whole incident about the school catching fire and her lying to everyone, they didn't indulge in any romantic activities, maybe he didn't trust her enough to love her...and that stung, that hurt more than it should have. He was one of her best friend, someone she could always rely on...but she couldn't lie to herself, Freddie had trouble trusting her. She would leave at the end of this year and she regretted it was after causing so much trouble. She still loved him so very deeply...but she had messed up and now she had to live with the consequences of what she's done. The faint sound of pebbles being thrown against a wall startled her and her eyes shot open. Above her, standing in front of her window she recognize the messy blond curls of Freddy. She frowned, surprise to see him there, he had the ghost of a smile on the corner of his mouth and all too eagerly she slipped into the night getting out the window carefully. She was extremely careful as to where she was putting her feet, climbing the window with extreme curiosity. When she was at a reasonable distance from the frozen ground, she jumped in a faint thud. _

_- What are you doing here? She asked _

_- I heard you were leaving...Why didn't you tell me? He asked the blue of his eyes shining like silver under the moonlight _

_- It's not for now fear not. She smiled _

_- But soon. He argued _

_- Yes...soon. _

_- When? He asked _

_She remained silent for she knew the answer wouldn't please him. _

_- When Poppy? _

_- When school ends..._

_He took her hand and led her through the darkness; quickly he found the handle of a door. She studied his face, he seemed serious in the night, the smile ghosting at his lips not so long ago had fainted and she only found hard lines on his face. Poppy felt her heart thump wildly against her ribs as she was led through the school, she felt like a thief running in dark hallways hiding from all eyes, the thrill was exhilarating. She clung onto Freddy's hand afraid to let it go and discover this has only been a dream. He stopped abruptly in front of the door of his room and turned to face her. _

_- Will you stay with me tonight? He asked seeming almost shy with the darkness of night to protect him. _

_- Yes. _

_He opened the door and motioned for Poppy to get inside, ever the gentleman. She had never been to his room, whenever they hung out together it was in public places in front of everyone...nothing private and never intimate in any way. Now she was alone with him, her eyes scanned the room curiously, it was rather simple, a bed, a desk with many notebooks and CD's piled on it, a library stood in the corner of the room with a cushioned chair next to it. She sits in the chair, tucking her feet under her staring at him, waiting for him to break the silence. _

_- Why did you bring me here? She asks when it is obvious Freddy won't be the first to break the thick silence surrounding them. _

_- Because...If you're going to leave then I want to have something to remember. _

_She is moved by his words and smiles shyly her brown hair falling in front of her eyes. He sits on the bed and stares at her; they don't say anything they simply look at each other as if they are trying to remember every little detail of the other's face. She is comfortable here, she feels warm and welcomed, she doesn't tell him though. The light is dim and he looks like he's made of gold, it takes her breath away. _

_- I want to be honest with you tonight. She says in a determined whisper_

_- I'd like that. He smiles _

_- I tell you something true about myself and you tell me something true about yourself. She says _

_- Ladies first. He smirks _

_She feels her throat getting tight at the sight of this smile gracing his luscious lips, she swallows hard and nods._

_- I have never been drunk. She says after thinking for a minute. _

_- I have never been arrested. He says in soft voice. _

_They both are smiling now; she crosses the distance daringly and sits across him on the bed. She loves that Freddy brought her here tonight; it was exactly what she needed to stop the sadness inside of her. _

_- I can't sing...though I wish I could. She says laughing. _

_- It was the worst pain to know you had lied to me. He says his voice serious and a little sharp_

_- I'm so sorry...I am so sorry you don't know how...I'd like to erase everything I did to you that might have hurt you. She says her voice sounding way too desperate for her taste. _

_- I forgave you long ago Poppy..._

_She feels daring, she feels this is the last chance she have to show him she still loves him, so she takes his hand in hers. She gives it a light squeeze and looking in the pool of blue his eyes are, she bring her face closer to his, their forehead touching, she can feel his breath on her cheeks. He is the one who slowly closes the distance between them, pressing his lips to hers. It's a soft kiss, chaste and unsure. Freddy's hand were firm on her back, the heat of his body warming her cool skin. The taste of his lips was intoxicating, she had miss it so much, she rose to her knees holding his face between her hands. She nibbled at his lower lip, her tongue entering his mouth seeking his. Their chests were heaving; she could feel Freddy's heartbeat going crazy his chest pressed to hers. He smiles against her lips, his hands tangling in her hair making her shiver. Slowly she pulled away to breath, her eyes wide and lust filled. _

_- I.._

_She doesn't know what to say, doesn't know how to act...it feels way too good to be true. Freddy's lips are red and swollen, his hair a wild mess of golden curls, he is beautiful and it scares her to be so close to him. _

_- It doesn't have to mean anything Poppy...a kiss is just a kiss. _

_- We shouldn't be doing that...I'll just end up leaving you...you don't deserve that. She tells him in a broken voice _

_- Poppy? _

_- Yes? _

_- Shut up already. He smirks reclaiming her lips with his. _

_His hands softly reached for her waist and he lowered her to the mattress beneath him, kissing at her neck and jaw. She closes her eyes tightly the feeling of his lips on her neck too much to deal with, her heart is fluttering against her chest so wildly it almost hurts. He kisses her lips, a feather kiss that has her groaning and wanton. He lets his fingers tease the elastic band of her pyjama pants and the innocent look in his eyes is almost comical. _

_- Do you permit it? He asks _

_She nods fearing her voice might fail her. Freddy slowly and carefully pulled her pyjama bottoms down her slender legs, hands shaking slightly as they reached for her top exposing her breasts to his eyes. She sits up to kiss him roughly, her petite hands tugging at his shirt until he gets the message and takes it off. He looks at her his eyes wide with desire, her fingers running along the smooth golden skin of his back. Poppy taking a little initiative helps Freddy out of his pants and kisses every inch of skin she frees from the thick layer of clothes. They stand naked in front of each other, realising for the first time just what they are about to do. Her lips let out a strangled cry when Freddy's mouth drops to her breast, she pants, feeling heat pool in her whole being, her mouth is open yet unable to let any sound out. She tangles her fingers in his gold curls and arched her back into his touch. She shivered at the feel of his hands traveling down her body, stroking her hipbone and leaving wet kisses to her smooth skin, she moaned loudly when he inserted a finger inside of her. It had her whole body writhe in pleasure, the warmth and the unfamiliar tickle in her core a craving she never thought she'd have. She whispers his name as he lets a second finger joins the first and her hips jerk, his eyes are fascinated and wide as he pleasures her. She bites her lips and cries out for him when his fingers curl inside her; she wants him to touch her forever, to have his hands on her as long as he'll have her. The moment his fingers leave her, she feels cold and frustrated, her cold glare only makes him chuckle and with determination she takes hold of his length and he moans softly as she guides him between her legs. _

_- Poppy? He asks his voice hoarse, seeking permission_

_- Just do it! She says past the point of being patient. _

_He slowly pushes into her, trying to keep from moaning, she clung onto his shoulders the discomfort greater than she had first expected. Their hips touch and the pain inside of her makes her grit her teeth, she pants and try to chase the tears away because she won't cry, she can't cry. Freddy brushes his nose against her cheek and kisses her tears away. He looks up at her with concern and evident arousal. _

_- A-are you alright? He asks_

_- Yes. She says her voice tight._

_He moves slowly at first because he doesn't wish to hurt her, because he doesn't want it to end so abruptly. She is tight around him, so tight he can't even think properly. She feels a spark of pleasure at the bottom of her spine when Freddy hit this one spot inside her, it washes all pain away and she lets out a throaty moan. Sweat start to form on his forehead, plastering his wild curls to his face, she wraps her legs around him willing him to push in deeper and he obliges because he's never been one to deny a lady. She meet his thrust with thrusts of her own and when she feels herself become lightheaded, she lets her hand travel to her core where both their bodies connect and she strokes herself, the bundle of nerve there making her tremble with need. Freddy's hand grasps her wrist and stops her from touching herself, his larger hands touching her instead and god! It is so much better! His pace quickens and she finds herself screaming as her muscles clench around him. She holds onto him as white spots dance in front of her eyes and that pleasure grows in every cell of her body. Freddy follows no long after, his head buried in Poppy's neck whispering sweet nothing in to her ear in a low groan. She curled into his side and his arm slung over her waist, his mouth kissing its way to the dimples at the bottom of her spine._

_- Thank you for this honour. He laughed as his eyes closed exhausted_

- But what happened then? Drippy wonders

- What do you mean? Poppy asks

- Well...obviously it didn't end the way you expected since ...no offense, you are not with Freddy.

- I told him that we wouldn't talk of what happened, it was a goodbye present and it wasn't to be done again. Poppy spoke weakly

- Oh Poppy...Kate whispered. He was so in love with you...you probably crushed him!

- I didn't want to go through the pain of leaving him...so I...I was stupid I know it.

- You need to talk to him! Kate said her eyes shining.

- What? Poppy asked wide eyes

- Oh how romantic would that be Poppy? Drippy sighed dreamily

She doubted she would even survive seeing him again...

**...Reviews ? ;)**


	8. Chapter 8 A face I had lost hope to see

**I know ! I know it's been too long since I last uploaded a chapter :( I have just started college and I'll admit I'm a HUGE procrastinator...that and my computer and I are feuding all the time. So here you go ! Another chapter...not really sure where I'm going with this but it's slowly forming in my mind...so...yeah...hope you like and enjoy...yeah? **

Poppy was having a bad day, she had a fight with her son and she didn't have time to deal with it because she was late for an interview her boss had booked her at an ungodly hour of the morning. Someone had stolen her parking space and had the nerve to bid her a good day. Not only was her interview impossibly boring, the young singer (Jasmine, Jessie, Jessica whatever her name was) had been a pain in the ass from the moment she had walked into the room. To top it all off, she was suppose to retrieve Kate's flower arrangements. She had been driving around London for about an hour, helplessly looking for the florist shop Kate had spent hours giving her directions to. When she finally spotted the yellow and pink facade of the flower shop, she was struck with how girly and pretty it actually was. Poppy got out of the car in a hurry, eager to get back to Drippy's house and drop on the couch with takeout and soap operas. The interior of the shop was wild, something out of kid's fantasy, it looked like a jungle plants everywhere from the floor to the ceiling, there was small rays of light peeking through the thick leaves and flowers, it was like walking into a fairy palace. There few statues spouting water and an old wrought iron bench, with lilies growing all around it. Poppy couldn't help but look all around herself, no matter how many times she did so, there always seemed to be something new in the surrounding. It looked nothing like a shop, but who would complain when they were walking through a fairytale? Slowly she made her way to the back of the shop, looking for some kind of cash desk, half hidden behind flowers of all size stood a woman, she looked ethereal and completely bewitching standing in the middle of so much beauty. Her long glossy black hair fell loosely on her shoulders, curling softly, her skin was golden and smooth and her almond shaped eyes were intently focused on delicate white flowers.

- Excuse me...Poppy spoke in a whisper, feeling like she shouldn't disturb the peacefulness of this piece of paradise.

- Oh, hi, can I help you?

The woman's voice was as entrancing as the rest of her, both warm and smooth. On her name tag was written Ava in cursive letter, she looked friendly and her smile was comforting. Suddenly her bad day, didn't seem so horrid anymore...

- I am here to pick up flowers for Kate Graham.

- Oh of course! Just wait a minute will you?

She watched the nymph like woman disappear into the greenery to what she suspected was the backroom. She stood awkwardly for a while, just standing in the middle of those flowers, unlike Ava, she didn't fit in this landscape. She gratefully sank onto a chair waiting for the dark haired woman to reappear. The smell was exquisite and as she sat there in this oasis of peace, she felt her eyelids grow heavy...how she wanted to sleep, somehow this new found drowsiness only made her crave home. Or whatever was her home. She sighed rubbing her forehead tiredly.

- Ava? A voice shouted

Poppy groaned, gritting her teeth, why shout? It was so unpleasant to find this silence broken, she would have ripped that person's head...or maybe it was only her growing moody from having a bad day.

- Ava are you there? We were supposed to meet twenty minutes ago!

The man walked into the shop, shoes clattering on the floor loudly. When he finally appeared through greenery, Poppy could only see the back of his head, she could see even if he wasn't facing her that the man was very handsome. His blond curls were barely brushing his broad shoulders, he had a narrow waist and strong legs, the suit he was wearing was so obviously expensive and the dark blue of it contrasted beautifully against the golden hue of his skin. He sighed and turned upon finding that Ava was nowhere to be found and when he did...when he did Poppy stopped breathing. She would recognize those sea blue eyes anywhere. Freddy. The blond man's eyes grew wide and a flash of longing crossed his blue eyes.

- Poppy Moore...well that's a face I had lost hope of ever seeing again. He smiled

- Hi...She whispered.

- Long time no see.

She didn't know what to say to him, she wanted to shout so many things that in the end they were stuck in her throat, unspoken. There was too much to say just to shout it. They stared at each other, no words coming in between them. She looked down blushing, would those eyes one day stop making her blush? This was excruciatingly awkward, she really had no clue as to what to do, how to act...this was Freddy! This was...him, the one person she had craved and longed for, for years...she didn't know how to breathe anymore and the look in those astounding blue eyes was breathtaking yet impossibly sad, as if he found himself regretting.

- Listen...He started to say.

Ava chose this particular moment to enter the room her arms charged with flower arrangements. Her eyes soften upon looking at Freddy and softly she dropped a kiss on his lips. Poppy never expected that small gesture to hurt her so much, it was worst than a punch in the gut...she wanted to cry, so she looked away quickly, willing tears away. Too many emotions...

- I'm sorry I couldn't go and find you sooner. Ava apologized to Freddy whose hand had wandered on her hip, curling around her waist.

- Its fine...I made an interesting encounter. Freddy smiled, though is smile didn't quite reach his eyes.

Poppy quickly took the flowers, dropped money in Ava's hand and spun around, making her way out as quickly as possible, almost tripping and losing her way twice before she reached the door. She barely heard the footsteps behind her, or Freddy calling her name, all that mattered was getting away.

- Wait! He called after her. Poppy!

She turned abruptly her eyes wide and savage with unravelling emotions.

- It was good seeing you...truly. He spoke softly

- Yeah...

- I want to see you again...

- When?

- Tomorrow? We could talk...or something...

She nodded unable to think of a proper answer...all she did was nod, as she watched him leave all she wanted to shout was "_He looks so much like you...you'd be proud of him!...you'd love him_" but she didn't...she couldn't do this to him.

**Yeah. I know, Poppy and Freddy met once again :) Comments ?**


	9. Chapter 9 Is this a fantasy?

**I am finally, finally in vacation so, I will not stop writing! But for now, here's a new chapter :) I hope you'll like this guys :) **

**I felt like changing the vibes a little so : Freddy's POV **

**Freddy's POV**

It took him some time before he could move, think and react properly. Poppy had once again came like a whirlwind into his life and as he watched her pack the flower arrangements in her car, he felt the growing urge not to let her leave him again. He turned quickly those unexpected feelings confusing him, but as soon as he turned away from her, he couldn't help but realise just how much he had missed her. Sighing he turned to face her once again.

Meet me here at 2, tomorrow. He told Poppy

She nodded and he found himself entranced by the turmoil of emotions in her hazel eyes. He opened his mouth to speak once again, but no words came out, there was just way too much to say to just shout it on the sidewalk, so he closed his mouth and smiled instead. This awkwardness between them pained him, Poppy had always been the one person he could tell everything to, he knew her better than he knew himself, it felt wrong to be shy around her, it made him feel like a stranger. He couldn't help but feel that he didn't want this, didn't want to be a stranger to Poppy, didn't want to be a ghost of her past. He didn't know how long they just stood there, not saying anything just looking at each other in silence, as if trying to find in each other the young teenagers they once were.

I'll see you tomorrow Freddy...She said and the voice he had longed for, for so long somehow didn't sound the same.

He nodded and walked back to Ava quickly, forbidding himself to look back, no matter if he ached to just cast a glance behind him, just to make sure this was real and not a dream, that Poppy was truly there. This was stupid; he shouldn't have asked Poppy out, who said she even wanted to see him? It had been so long since he had last seen her, maybe she had changed, maybe she didn't want him in her life, maybe...just maybe Poppy had been happy without him in her life. He had Ava now anyway, he had a new life, he had changed...and he wasn't sure Poppy had a place in his life anymore. No matter how much he wanted her to, no matter if his heart swelled with fondness every time he saw her...it didn't matter, they had different lives now...He walked slowly into the shop where Ava was carefully folding her apron and closing the small shop. Her dark ebony eyes landed on him and the worry he found in those beautiful exotic eyes, made him feel guilty and he didn't know why.

Are you alright darling? Ava asked him sweetly

_No, everything just feels so surreal, this isn't happening...Ava what's wrong with me? I think I missed Poppy more than I should have..._

That's what he wanted to say, that's what he should have said, but he was so impossibly afraid of those words, he just shrugged and grinned at Ava.

Of course I am, I'm tired, school was a pain that's all. Freddy heard himself say in a cheerful voice

I can only guess, Law school must be tiring! Ava smiled as she hugged his waist and buried her face in his shoulder

He held her to him, wishing that Ava could be enough to make him forget Poppy Moore just for one instant. And if that night he dreamt of a sweet American accent and beautiful hazel eyes...that was his business and his alone.

Freddy had thought of Poppy the whole day, from the moment he woke to the moment he was finally free from his lectures. Of course he couldn't help the surge of guilt when he kissed Ava that morning but the only thing he could focus on was honey hued hair and a smile that always knew how to take his breath away. He curses as he runs down the street to Ava's shop, he casts a glance at his watch and groans, of course he'd be late! Twenty minutes late! When he could finally see the yellow and pink facade of the flower shop, he ran faster, making his way through the passerby. He could see Poppy standing on the sidewalk, she looked perfect, hair curled and wearing a red dress, she looked tired and as she looked down at her phone, she sighed and turn away, leaving, walking away...

POPPY! He screamed

She turned curiously, and their eyes met. He quickly made his way towards her, cheeks flush from his run and eyes shy.

Hello Freddy...She smiled

I'm sorry I'm late, my lecture finished later than I thought...

It's alright; you're here now aren't you?

They walked in a comfortable silence, side by side; it felt good to know it was Poppy beside him, felt so good! It felt as if he had found the missing piece of the puzzle his life was. When finally they decided on a place to eat, they sat on a terrace, the restaurant was mostly pastries and sweets, the place was cozy, with comfortable chairs and smooth jazz playing through the restaurant. It wasn't exactly anything fancy, but it was them and it was perfect.

So...how's life been treating you? Poppy asked as she took a bite of her coconut cream pie

Good...I've been doing good. How about you?

I'm fine, I'm not happy everyday but I'm fine.

And what has the great Poppy Moore been up to for all these years?

I'm working for People magazine, I'm a journalist...I, it's a lot of work, but really it's amazing.

Freddy looked at her smiling, her eyes had light up and the small smile on her lips had given her an almost childlike expression. She seemed so happy.

And you? What have you been doing? I remember you wanted to get in art school

He bit his lips, yes there was a time where he had wanted to get into art school more than anything, there was a time where people would say he had talent...but his father, his father had wanted to make his son a respectable man and had forced him to get into law school threatening him to disown him were he to disobey him. Freddy defeated had nodded at his father and here he was now, going to lectures he hated and doing homework for classes he didn't like, he didn't hate the prospect of being a lawyer, defending those who didn't have the money to get a lawyer...it was respectable and he like the interaction with the people...he could have had worst.

Well, I guess things changed...I'm in law school. He said casually

Law school? You? It's seems so unlike you...

It's not fun every day, but it's a good job. He smiled. Besides, makes the family proud

Oh Freddy...even now you didn't learn to say no did you? Poppy asked

I'm not unhappy, I met Ava in Law school...and my best friend is also studying law...I could have done worst than getting in Law school.

But it was not your choice was it?

He looked at her puzzled, was it possible that even after being parted for so long, she could still read him like an open book, see all the secrets he tried his almighty best to hide from everyone?

How come you know me so well? He asked laughing lightly

Because you're you...you're the one person I've always been sure of, and your eyes speak for yourself...they always have. So, tell me about Ava, how did you meet?

We met in philosophy class, there was a debate...I don't even remember what it was about, all I know is I spent the whole class arguing with her, the next day she asked me if I wanted to get coffee and we've been together since. He smiled at the memory of the fierce dark haired girl who had at first reminded him of a feisty blond American girl.

She seems nice.

She is...she is. He whispered.

Have you been together long?

About a year now...so you didn't tell me what brought you to England?

Kate is getting married and I would be damned if she walked the aisle without me there.

Poppy's phone ringed and Freddy bit back a laugh upon recognizing, some cheesy top 40 song, was it Call me Maybe? Ava would have known. Poppy's face became full of tenderness and her eyes were full of stars as she started talking on the phone, a huge smile on her face. She nodded and laughed and somehow, he was seeing the girl from Abbey Mount. Zack...it was a name she kept repeating and with such love and fondness and warmth Freddy found he was a little jealous of this Zack. _She said my name like that too once..._When she hung up the phone, there was still stars in her eyes and her cheeks had flushed a little with happiness.

It was nice to see you Freddy, I mean it...I have to go though...She excused herself.

Yes, thank you Poppy...for everything

We'll see each other again won't we? She asked almost hopeful and he couldn't help but smirk.

I have been invited to Kate's wedding too you know, we'll see plenty of each other. I promise.

Poppy smiled and walked away, but this time with the promise of coming back, with the promise that she would not forget about him.

**:D :D Yay :) Reviews anyone? **


	10. Chapter 10 Witness and Maid of honour

**Oh my god! So I finally know where I am all taking this ;) Which means a new chapter for you :) I hope you guys like it because I enjoyed writing it ! **

**Enjoy :P **

- What was he like? Zach asked in a small voice

Poppy closed her eyes and allowed herself a smile. She could still see him so clearly in her mind, hear his voice...he was _in a relationship_ with someone else, yet she felt more in love with him than she ever had. She ran her fingers through her boy's soft blond curls, yes she's never been more in love with Freddy and yet he loved someone else.

- He looked so much like you, you have the same hair, the same eyes...you're his spitting image Zach. She said softly

- Will he love me?

She wanted to say _Of course Zach he will, he will love you so much and he will be so proud of you_, but Freddy led a life of his own, in a world that seemed so different from hers. She kissed Zach forehead, why was it so hard to talk of Freddy with her son?

- Of course, all parents love their children...She said. It wasn't half the answer she wanted to give Zach, but it was better than silence.

- I wish we could be a family...a real one. Zach sighed sleepily and Poppy felt her eyes water

She tucked the little boy, swallowing her tears and kissing him goodnight. She closed the light and stood still in the doorframe. A single tear rolled on her cheek and she hurriedly whipped it away.

- I wish we were a family too. She whispered. You don't know how much...

She clung onto her cup of coffee as if her life depended on it, she might have hated Kate for waking her up at almost 5 A.M but she had promised to be there for the wedding's rehearsal. As Kate's maid of honour she _had _to be there anyway. So coffee had seemed like a gift sent from heaven. Poppy simply could not understand why the priest had insisted about rehearsing the vows and the bride's entrance in time with music and everything seemed superfluous to Poppy. Right at this moment she envied Zach who was probably still sleeping soundly in his bed. She sat in one of the abandoned benches of the church, eyelids drooping despite her best effort. She was startled when Freddy entered the church, casually dressed, a jacket in his arms. She looked at Kate with disbelieving eyes and Kate shrugged though she could clearly see the smugness in her smile. Freddy smiled at her and sat on the bench with her.

- Good morning. He smiled

- No such thing as good morning. She groaned.

- I forgot you weren't a morning person. He laughed.

- And you seem way too conscious at this ungodly hour! She smiled softly

She relaxed in her seat, considering curling onto the bench and sleep a little. But of course, Freddy was there and she wouldn't miss a single moment she was allowed with him.

- So what are you doing here? She asked yawning.

- Remember when I told you I was invited to Kate's wedding? He asked, to which she only nodded. Well, she's marrying my best mate, Jimmy. I am the witness

- Guess we'll walk the aisle together then. She said before she could stop herself. I mean...I'm maid of honour. So...

- Yeah, I figured as much. He smirked

Poppy wondered if it was an unspoken rule between them to avoid talking about her pregnancy, every time she talked to him the subject was floating in her mind, but none of them crossed that fence between them. It was a _no man's land_ and so far she was quite ok with that. Poppy focused on her best friend's future husband, Jimmy looked like a nice man, his smile was soft and his laugh contagious. He had a head of ebony curls falling gracefully around his face and a pair of stark blue eyes. He was really tall; Kate had to get on tiptoes to kiss him. She felt happy that such a man would take care of Kate.

- So he's the lawyer? She asked Freddy who shrugged

- Future lawyer, but yes. We met a few years back when we first got into law school.

- He seems nice.

- He is, he's probably the shyest man I've ever met, but he's great.

Poppy nodded her heart jumping to throat upon seeing the small smile tugging at Freddy's mouth. She wanted to run her thumb across his lips, just to see if they were as soft as she remembered. She looked away quite fast and sighed.

- I'm a little bored, we should do something. Freddy suggested

- Like what?

- We could...play cards?

- Do you have a deck of cards?

- ...We'll find something else. He sighed sitting crossed legged facing her.

- We could play...hide and seek? She suggested

- In a church? Freddy's eyebrows rose so high she chuckled at the sight

- Or we could do something else.

- Who's counting first? He asked smirking slowly

- One, two, three...Poppy started to count, hiding her face in her arm

Yes it was childish she thought, but it was wonderful, she counted silently and heard Freddy's feet move on the cold cement floor. She felt like she was five, but feeling so carefree made her happy. She didn't really mind what the priest would say, all she cared about was that she was with Freddy and no matter if it was just in a friendly way, _she was with Freddy_. Slowly she rose her head and looked around, this was such a huge place...Freddy could have been hiding anywhere! She rose and started walking down the aisle looking in every row of benches. She was trying to spot golden hair, but Freddy had expectedly hidden himself. She looked behind every marble column, she looked in the hall, she looked positively everywhere. Sighing she walked back down the aisle until she spotted golden hair in the chorus. Her smile grew devious as she walked hurriedly towards the choir, sitting against the piano she could see Freddy, a childish grin on his face and the cry of victory came out of her mouth before she even remembered where they were.

- Ah! I found you! She smiled proudly, Freddy rolling his eyes rose.

- I see you have.

The priest looked up at them disapprovingly, face serious and lips in a tight line. Both Freddy and Poppy couldn't help the chuckle from rising in their throat and the smile to lighten up their faces.

- Young fools! The priest snorted

Three more rounds of hide and seek, a game of tag and two rounds of would you rather later, they were free to. Kate rolled her eyes at them but smiled nonetheless while Jimmy simply smiled knowingly at Poppy. Kate kissed her fiancé and took Poppy's hand in hers.

- Don't be too long, I do remember you promised Zach to go to the movies. Kate said and the seriousness with which she spoke shook Poppy to the core.

She didn't see the flash of hurt in Freddy's eyes at the mention of her son. She simply nodded and promised Kate she would be on her way as soon as she bid everyone goodbye. She turned to Freddy whose eyes still held a strange light to them.

- Thank you for keeping me company. She smiled holding his hand

- It was my pleasure. He bowed his head

- We'll see each other in two days.

- You should go, Zach's waiting on you...He said and sound of her boy's name on Freddy's lips sent her heart in a turmoil of want and love.

- Yes...She said softly

Had she been looking closer, she could have seen the jealousy written on Freddy's face. Had she been looking closer, she could have seen that Freddy had wanted to hold her hand longer.

**So...your thoughts? A review? **

**Until next time **

**BellaCam**


	11. Chapter 11 All of me

**Hey guys :) I am finally posting this chapter, college took so much of my time but I didn't forget you :) I was thrilled to finally write this part so enjoy it :) **

The morning of the wedding Poppy is freaking out. She can't breathe and her whole body feels weak and tired. She's just found Freddy and she could lose him already if she doesn't do anything and fast. She sits on the edge of her bed, hands shaking and mind running a thousand miles an hour. This can't be real! She is not ready to bring Zach in between her and Freddy. What tells her he won't runaway as fast as he could once he found out? She stays motionless, trying to get air to her lungs and her brain to calm down. How long she stays there completely distraught? Minutes, hours...she really doesn't know, her heart won't stop pounding and she needs to calm down or else she won't live this through.

- Poppy I know you're in there, open the door!

She has to give it to her; Drippy is a great friend, so she slowly wills herself to move. She opens the door to find Drippy already dressed in her gown, hair done and makeup on her face. Poppy realises she's far from being ready to leave this room, at the mere thought her heart skips a beat and she feels sick.

- You're not ready. Drippy states

- I can't go Drippy! You cannot make me go!

- Ok how old are you? Five? Drippy rolls her eyes clearly confused.

Poppy only narrows her eyes and crosses her arms across her chest, defiantly. If she's to lose Freddy after so little time, she simply won't go to this wedding; if she doesn't go nothing bad will happen right? Poppy always was a problem solver.

- You do know if you don't show up, Kate will be short of maid of honour...

- God damn you Drippy! Poppy cussed defeated, maybe she wasn't exactly the best problem solver.

- What's wrong with you Poppy?

She stared at the blonde before sighing. _Everything Drippy..._

- I can't tell Freddy about Zach! Not now...He can't know! I can't lose him again! I refuse to lose him again...even if he wasn't meant to be mine.

Drippy didn't say a thing, her blue eyes sad as she looked at her distraught friend. All she did was pull Poppy into a hug, words were unnecessary.

- Let's get you dressed, I'll fix everything don't worry.

Freddy stood at the altar, he could clearly see Thomas' nervousness, his shoulders were taut and he kept biting his lips. Freddy wished he knew what say. Thomas' blue eyes were wide and a little terrified as they looked around the church. He squeezed his friend's shoulder reassuringly.

- Everything's gonna be fine mate. Freddy smiled

- What if she changed her mind?

- That's not going to happen.

- How do you know? Thomas asked

- I know she loves you, this woman would do anything for you...she's not about to runaway, you mean to much to her.

Thomas nodded and offered a small nervous smile before the doors of the church opened and the music started. Freddy was proud to stand by his best friend, proud to be there on such an important day. He walked down the aisle to meet Poppy, she wore a nervous smile on her painted lips and his heart melted. She was beautiful, her purple dress was bold against her pale skin and her hair was up in a neat bun and...She was so beautiful he could easily forget about anything else. He offered her his arm and barely contained his smile when she softly curled her arm around his. They walked down the aisle and in another universe this would have been perfect, except they weren't getting married and they were both from different worlds now. Soon enough though they had to let go. During the whole ceremony, Freddy watched Poppy, the way her hair curled softly, the way her lips curved into a soft smile, how her eyes shone, how her chest rose softly with each breath...she was everything missing in his life.

Poppy was pressed against the balcony's rail, fresh air getting to her lungs and caressing her face. The venue was beautiful, the hotel was chic but all in elegance and subtlety. People were happily drinking and dancing to awful 90's pop songs and Poppy took the opportunity to explore the place, find out what secrets this place held. She had stayed on the balcony, revelling in the beauty of the city underneath, all in lights, modernity siding with the past. She could breathe easier thanks to Drippy, she couldn't tell her how grateful she was, without her she would still be tearing at her hair in her room. She closed her eyes, when did love get so complicated? She sighed softly.

- What are you doing all alone? Freddy's voice disturbed the silence

She turned to face him, with a small smile, unsure how to act around him.

- I needed fresh air..._And to put some order in my thoughts. _There was a time when she would have said as much, but times changed and she felt it in the deepest of her bones.

- I know what you mean! He smiled tugging at his tie, trying to untie it.

She watched him struggle with a smile on her lips. If that wasn't the most adorable thing she saw all night, she would be lying. She laughed happily, and Freddy's eyes met hers with an intensity she hadn't seen in awhile. She shivered and Freddy looked down, as if he had been caught doing something wrong.

- I forgot how much I loved your laugh...He said in a whisper

- Come here. Poppy told him and she was proud that her voice didn't waver.

Freddy took careful steps towards her and Poppy would lie if she were to say the heat of his body close to hers didn't make her brain short circuit. She slowly reached for his tie and with dexterity untied it, she pretended she didn't have Goosebumps all over at Freddy's sigh of relief. They stayed there silent and there was a sea of words in between them, so many questions and so many answers, but they chose not to reach for them, this was a moment unlike all others, this wasn't innocent and catching up with an old friend, this was reconnecting with a world, a _person_ you thought lost forever. In the end, it was Freddy who moved first. He let his hands stoop to Poppy's hips and brought her body closer to his. They were so close they could feel each other's breath on their cheeks, so close...hearts to hearts. Poppy couldn't breathe; her skin was on fire and her mind unable to think of anything other than the slight tremor of Freddy's hands. She smiled when Freddy's lips met hers. It was soft and a little shy, warm and everything she had been craving for years. It was purely Freddy. She kissed back with ardour, she clung onto him afraid to let go and watch him leave. His lips were soft and the familiar taste had heat rushing through her veins. It was a good kiss, true and loving; it was the kind of kiss to bind to soul together, a kiss that said _I still wait for you. _Poppy's heart was ready to burst with mirth and happiness and just a sense of comfort...this felt right, more than right, this felt natural. She stayed in his arms a long while, kissing him with everything she was, hoping he would understand that her heart would never beat for anyone else. They untangled from one another, breathless and lips swollen...but what she saw was more painful than she could have imagined. Freddy's eyes were wide with fear.

- I'm sorry Poppy...I'm so, so sorry! I didn't mean to...Please forgive me...I'd better go.

And with that, he left, but not without casting a glance behind him.


	12. Chapter 12: So now I see

**Hi guys :) I know It's been a while, but college is really taking a lot of my time these days. So I am back with a chapter, it's quite small, my apologies, but I'm quite proud of it actually. So...I hope you guys like it, and thanks for reading ya know? ;)**

Freddy didn't speak with Poppy for days, he could still feel those soft lips on his, and it scared him as much as it made him want to smile like an idiot. He doesn't say anything to Ava, because god knows the woman is smarter than is reasonable, she would so easily see through him. So he says nothing, pretends everything is alright. He sits at the kitchen table with his law textbooks open, but it seems gibberish to him, it isn't anything hard, but his mind is elsewhere, he can't focus on the words printed on the pages of his books. A kiss never bothered him this way before. Had he been a more courageous man, Freddy would admit that he was in love with Poppy Moore, but he had spent so long trying to get over her! Suddenly it seemed like his whole world evolved around the one woman he hadn't been able to forget.  
- Hey I'm home!  
Freddy kept staring at his textbook not even greeting Ava. The dark haired woman, took off her coat and Freddy felt guilty. As he watched his girlfriend smiling, her cheeks rosy...he felt like the worst man in the universe.  
- Hey...Ava smiled tiredly  
- Hi. He mumbled  
Ava sat across from him, her dark eyes intense and curious. He didn't know how long he would be able to hide what he'd done.  
- What's wrong? She asked  
- What makes you think something's wrong? He asked  
Ava smiled softly and reached across the table to hold Freddy's hand. His blue eyes clear with guilt.  
- Because you've been looking at me with those eyes since a few days. Like, you're about to be burnt at the stake and you suddenly regret and feel guilt for all the wrongs you did. I wonder what's going on in that curly head of yours.  
Freddy sighs running a hand through his blond locks, he knows the answer is going to hurt Ava and he hates himself for it. He is desperately looking for the right words, but no matter the words he knows they are going to hurt. He never wanted to harm Ava.  
- I...  
- It's Poppy isn't? Ava whispers  
It's scary sometimes how Ava seems to see even the deepest and hidden parts of him. He can't deny Ava of an answer, he nods.  
- What of her? She asks  
- I...I kissed her.  
Ava nods silently as if composing with what Freddy just told her. She looks up at him and though he sees sadness in his girlfriend dark eyes, he also sees a strange light in them, as if she expected it, knew it would happen up to some point.  
- You know Freddy, I love you...but I will never force you to stay here with me if it makes you unhappy. She says of small voice  
He stares at her because those words mean more than he could ever say. He is still unsure though, whether he should go back to Poppy or not. It scares him the possibility of fucking up things with Poppy again. If he goes back to her, it's to make things right.  
- I think you still love her. I can see her in your eyes, see her in your smile, in your words...You are in love with Poppy Moore and you won't be happy with anyone else as long as she still walks this Earth. If soul mates exist...I think she's yours.  
- I'm sorry Ava...  
- This may sound selfish...but if you leave...all I ask is you don't forget about me.  
Freddy kisses her forehead, what he did to deserve a woman like that, he isn't sure but he is grateful. Ava strokes his cheek and elegantly walks to the door, takes her coat and with a final smile, she leaves, a shadow in the night with tears in her eyes.

****  
Freddy holds his breath before knocking on Drippy's door. He doesn't know how things will go or what he will say. All he knows is it's freezing outside and that he can't go on without Poppy. The door opens with loud screams and laughs echoing on the other side of the door. Drippy's eyes are round and her mouth is a tight line, she looks surprised, but more than that she seems terrified.  
- Oh. Is all she says  
- Can I speak with Poppy? He asks  
Drippy moves aside to let Freddy in and she motions him to sit on the living room couch before she runs in the stairs to fetch Poppy. It is awkward and it is very scary, but he is determined to admit to Poppy that this kiss meant something. The young woman comes running down the stairs in a pair of skinny jeans and a large sweatshirt. She gasps upon seeing Freddy sat in the living room.  
- Uh...hi. She says  
- Hello.  
She crosses her arms on her chest and raises an eyebrow clearly not feeling to amicable.  
- Are you here to apologize for kissing me and running away? She asks  
- As a matter of facts, yes.  
- Oh...  
The blond woman blushes slightly and looks at her mismatched socks in embarrassment.  
- I came here to tell you I should have never runaway because...I realised I still loved you. This kiss wasn't just any kiss...It meant the world to me. I want to make things right Poppy...hold you in my arms, love you and protect you...will you give that to me?  
Poppy's face has gone pale, her eyes looking green in the light of day. She is twisting her fingers nervously and though a small smile tugs at her lips, she is obviously nervous.  
- You don't know how happy it makes me to hear you say that because I love you too...so much! But you and I need to talk, we'll see if you still love me then...

Freddy watches curiously as Poppy walks up the stairs leaving him for a moment, in this instant, alone and buzzing with nervous energy, Freddy wonders what it is she wants to tell him. As soon as she's back with a small boy in her arms...he knows things will be much more complicated than he ever dreamed of.

**Review? Yes/no/ maybe? **


	13. Chapter 13 A chance is all I ask for

**Oh my god! Hey guys ! College is over :P And I have no reason not to post a chapter so...here you go :) **

**Freddy and Zach ! **

**Enjoy :) **

He knows those eyes, he has seen them every morning of his Life, he's stared right back at them in the mirror. Those are his eyes. Except they are on a tiny body with blond curls he recognizes all too well. This boy could have been him had he been seventeen years younger. There is no mistaking here, this small boy is his, against all odds this is his son. He has to be, no coincidence is possible, not with this particular shade of blue, or the way those curls turn gold in the light. He looks up at Poppy and he doesn't know what to say, he isn't even sure how he feels. He wishes he knew what to do in such situation, but he's never thought this day would come. He is equally hurt that Poppy would have hidden this from him and terrified, he doesn't know how to care for a child! He stands there at loss for words, and he realises that all these years ago when he had went to  
Poppy's graduation and found her pregnant, it was his child she was pregnant with and he hadn't seen that. Had obliviously made his way through life without thinking about Poppy's child...their child, he wants to correct himself, but he's missed already so much of his son's life, he doubts he really deserves to be called Dad. Poppy is staring at him warily, trying to read him. Her arms are protectively wrapped around the small boy who looks curiously at him, probably seeing the resemblance too. The silence is thick and Freddy simply doesn't know what to say. This was his son! This kid was part of him, he was supposed to love him unconditionally and be there in time of crisis, he was supposed to have hold him when he was nothing more than a tiny teeny baby...so many emotions were swirling inside him. He felt like he was not enough for this boy who looked up at him with hope.  
- Please say something...Poppy whispers  
Freddy sighs and runs a nervous hand through his hair. He looks at Poppy, his eyes devastated.  
- How could you hide this from me? Had I known I would have never let you leave! I would have stayed by your side! Did you think I would runaway? He asks desperately  
- I didn't think Freddy. She says in a soft voice. I was afraid and thought you would be afraid too; you had such a brilliant future ahead of you! You were going to go to Art school, you would get many gigs and make a name for yourself...I didn't want to be the one to take this away from you. Poppy explained  
Freddy bitterly thought that she wasn't the one to take his dream away; his parents had been the one to steal those possibilities from him. They had threatened to disown him if he even thought of disobeying them and get into Art School, he had buried his dream and to be honest still struggled to forgive his parents.  
- I...I'm sorry Freddy, I know I should have told you but I am a coward and I was afraid! If you saw the way my step mother looked at me...I was afraid you'd look at me like that too.  
Freddy felt his heart beat wildly against his ribs as if it was ready to jump out of his chest, he loved Poppy, loved her so much! All his childhood he had dreamed of a family, being an only child and never seeing his father because his work was always more important than his wife and son...all this time he had wanted a real family and he could have had it, had he asked, had he known it was something he could ask for. It made his skin feel warm and a smile stretch his lips.  
- What's his name? Freddy asked voice tight  
Poppy smiled at him and kissed the boy's unruly blond curls.  
- This is Zachary. She said fondly.  
- I like it better when you call me Zach. The boy whispered. Zachary is for when I'm in trouble.  
Freddy smiled and thought he remembered saying something pretty similar to his mom when he was a boy "_Mommy, I'm Freddy, not Frederic, Frederic is for when I do bad stuff" _. He felt his heart tightened as Poppy smiled at him, eyes bright and cheeks pink, she was beautiful and he couldn't realise he had gone for so long without her in his life.  
- How old is he? Freddy asked and Poppy understood the question behind his words: how much did I miss?  
- You can tell him Zach. Poppy told her son. Their son Freddy thought.  
- I'm six. Zach showed him six tiny fingers.  
Freddy flashed his son a bright grin and Zach proudly smiled back. If he let himself try Freddy knew he could love this boy.  
- Are you my Daddy? Zach asked and Poppy bites her lips, a little worried, she turned an uncertain gaze on Freddy.  
- Yes. Freddy smiled again. If you give me a chance I promise I'll be the best Dad you'll ever have.  
Zach nodded seriously and smiled. In those blue eyes he knew so well, he could see happiness and adoration...it was all too much for him, he was no superheroes and he knew he was probably going to screw up, but he was willing to try and not disappoint this little who seemed ready to put all his faith in him.  
- I'll be the best little boy ever if you stay with us. Zach said in return and that broke Freddy's heart, it was about time he got in his son's life. Poppy closed her eyes and sighed shakily.  
- I want to be there for you. He told her. For you both, I don't want to miss another day of your lives, I've already missed more than I should have...I told you, I want to make things right. I want a chance at being a part of your lives.

**So? Your thoughts? A comment? Did you like it? **


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